Pre-wed -- Making a bride in just 365 days -- Choosing the time and place -- Big juju dresses -- Dressing the bridesmaids and the groom -- The greed (oops, sorry, the gifts) -- Vows, prenups, and kiss-offs -- Things to avoid, if possible, on your wedding day -- Wedding receptions -- The wedding of the century -- The newlywed kit -- Pre-d -- The moment of truth -- On matters legal and mannerly -- Don't be skeered -- Who's lying now? -- Warts b gone -- It's all in the name -- The divorce party -- Delousing the ring -- Catch and release -- Time for a little something -- You've lost that lovin' feelin'.