1 Creepiest of All Treatments 3 --
2 Mote Doctors Smoke Camels... Well, What Else Would You Do to a Camel? 7 --
4 Want Fries with That? 11 --
5 Unwrinkling a Wizard's Sleeve? 13 --
6 Placenta: It's Not Just for Breakfast Anymore 17 --
7 Does This Jersey Make Me Look Fat? 19 --
8 A Sting to Treat a Sting 21 --
9 You Can't Redo Everything 23 --
10 Country Music Can Be Deadly (for White People) 25 --
11 Dark Days: Experimentation on Mentally Challenged and Mentally 111 Patients 29 --
12 Stretch Armstrong's Got Nothing on This! 33 --
13 Two Eyes, Two Ears, Two Noses? 37 --
14 I Need This Like I Need a Hole in the Head! 39 --
15 Asthma, Allergies, and Long-Term Worms 41 --
16 G-Spot Shot: Spot On or Spot Off? 43 --
17 Chakra the Monkey Tonight! 45 --
18 Moxibustion: Not Quite Smoking Banana Leaves, but Almost! 47 --
19 Maybe They Just Passed Gas 49 --
20 As If Birth Weren't Traumatic Enough 51 --
22 They Say Stripes Are Slimming 57 --
23 Ping-Pong, Anyone? 61 --
24 Treating Hemorrhoids: A Real Pain in the Butt 65 --
25 Sore Throat: Better or Worse After These Remedies? 67 --
26 Facing the Facts When, in Fact, That's Not Your Face 69 --
27 Stocks Drop, So Might the Bodies 71 --
28 It's Just a Flesh Wound 75 --
29 When Blood Is Green and Urine Blue 77 --
30 Prosthetic Limbs of Today: Beyond Pegs and Hooks 79 --
31 Want Bigger Breasts? Have a Thai Stranger Slap Them Repeatedly 81 --
32 Truly Giving a Shit 83 --
33 "Hands-On" Help for Hysteria 87 --
34 Kim Kardashian's Vampire Facial (No, Not That Kind!) 89 --
35 MADW Wasn't Quite as Catchy 91 --
37 Why Didn't They Call It Uranus? 95 --
38 Kill Your Television ... Except If Watching Modern Family 97 --
40 Take the Lead. It's Prescription 101 --
41 You Won't Always Be Able to Control Everything 103 --
42 What If They Were Lactating? 105 --
43 Well, Who Is Going to Open the Pickle Jar? 107 --
44 Don't Blame the Irish 109 --
45 And It Makes You Look Cool 111 --
46 Not Just Good for Serving Revenge 113 --
47 Does the Carpet Match the Drapes? 115 --
48 We Are Not Suggesting You Suck on It 117 --
49 So That's What the Track Marks Are From 119 --
50 Good for the Birds, Bad for the Worms 121 --
51 You Mean It Won't Fall Off? 123 --
52 How Many Licks Does It Take? 127 --
53 Try Not to Bruise It 129 --
54 Only Time You Would Rather Deal with a Prick 131 --
55 It's All in Your Head 135 --
56 Forget the Eye of the Tiger 137 --
57 They Eventually Get Their Revenge 139 --
58 You Don't Need to Re-prove Gravity 141 --
59 Are They Crooked? 143 --
60 Dying for Sleep 145 --
61 Drinking to Improve Thinking 147 --
62 Your Mane or Your Manliness? 149 --
63 Paging Dr. Dracula 153 --
64 Hurling at High Speed 157 --
65 Possibly a Posset for Parity? 159 --
66 Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Thyme 161 --
67 Finally, a Medical Reason to Not Exercise 163 --
69 And It Burns, Burns, Burns, the Ring of Fire ... 169 --
70 Snow in Your Nose 173 --
71 Aspire to Respire, but Avoid to Not Expire 175 --
72 Liquidating Lousy Lice 179 --
73 A Cup Should Not Go Up 181 --
74 Lettin' Go Lentigo 183 --
75 Hashing Out Headbanging Hazards 185 --
76 Heroin: The All-Time Addictive, Snorting, Injecting, Smoking, Disorienting, Constipating, So-You-Can-Throw-It-All-Away Medicine 189 --
77 Halting Harassing Hiccups 191 --
78 Importance of Impotence 195 --
79 When the Treatment Is Worse Than the Disease 197 --
80 I'd Rather Have a Bottle in Front of Me Than a Frontal Lobotomy 199 --
82 Take Two Skulls and Call Me in the Morning 203 --
83 Itching to Add Inches 205 --
84 Pacifying Mr. Gandhi and Quieting Mister Ed 209 --
85 Everybody Gettin' Horny 211 --
86 Click It or Ticket! 213 --
87 Sleep Divorce to Prevent Real Divorce? 215 --
88 Doctor's Orders: Twelve Bottles of Beer, by Mouth, Daily 217 --
89 Beating the Stick 219 --
90 No Wrinkle in Chyme? 223 --
91 Honey, I Healed the Wound! 225 --
92 Sad Story and Salvation of Thalidomide 227 --
93 Finding Frankenstein's Fountainhead 229 --
94 Guess I'll Go Eat Worms 233 --
95 One of the Few Practices We Endorse 235 --
